you know those classic teenage romance movies.
where the whole movie she is after that perfect boy.
he is all she talks. thinks. dreams. about.

she makes herself everything he wants.
fix the hair. apply the mascara. gloss the lips.

you spend almost two hours watching her attempt to impress
and swoon him.
yet her attempts fail, or backfire, and she is still left alone.

but there is always that one boy.
that has been there since the beginning of the movie.
the one that has always seen her, for her.

and there it is.
true love

what a coincidence right?
we just wasted a whole movie
watching a girl waste her time.

you know those classic teenage romances.
why does is this such a popular theme?
does the majority of the american female population waste a portion of their lives chasing after boys that will never give them the light of day?

or is that just me?
(minus the coincidental true love with the unnoticed friend in the end)
my life isnt as perfect as Hollywood depicts.


i find myself mistaking my life for a hollywood film.
and then i am let down when i come to the realization.
that...this is my life.

i could picture it all day long,
the things im supposed to say.
the way he is supposed to react.
and everything is scriptedly perfect (my new word.)

i even create this hollywood invented persona for myself.

you know, most girls dream of being that female icon.
the one that is usually introduced by a shot of her descending down the stairs.
a pan up from legs to her face.
her red dress complementing her curves.
and every man in the frame has completely stopped what they are doing.
the room is in awe just by her very presence.

most girls dream of being her, maybe even just to one guy.
but i however, am a bit more realistic.
that will never be me.
not even in hollywood.

i dream of being that type of girl.
just to one guy.
that girl that he can't forget.
the one that maybe takes a portion of the movie for him to realize he is in love.
but that in that moment when he does, the screen moves to
a montage of all the unforgettable memories of her.
all the insignificant quirky moments that finally added up
to make him fall in love.




i wish i could just find my reality.